in the secret of his presence.

i typically restrain myself from writing too much. i don't particularly consider myself a good writer, therefore, i do not want to bore you with words about myself. but, i have come to realize i enjoy reading other's blogs and learning from them sometimes. and, well, today i am in a writing mood.

tomorrow starts spring break. i was about to say this is the last spring break i will ever have, but i guess that would be incorrect considering, Lord willing, i will be living according to a college schedule for the next two years, still. but, it will be the last spring break i have as a student. i will technically be a working adult next year, which makes the break a little different. anyway, i was just listening to pandora, and sandra mccracken's take on "in the secret of his presence" came on. this song actually reminds me of spring break, freshman year. i had this cd and listened to it all of the time, especially on spring break. i remember spring break was a good spiritual refresher for me, then, and i was soaking up hymns and books by elisabeth elliot and the bible. at that time, i had more extreme spiritual and emotional highs and lows, and would delve deeply into everything that would draw me nearer to God after a period in which i rebelled against Him or my sin was revealed so drastically. these days, i have less highs and less lows. it is a little more even kill. i am thankful for that, but sometimes miss those sweet times in which i would really feel the romantic love of Christ and the gospel would be so refreshing when i was in such desperate need. i have felt more complacent lately in my walk with God. i was reading a friend's blog recently. he was talking about prayer being what completes our relationship with God. it is what intimates us with Him. i spend a lot of time learning about Jesus and speaking about Him, but i do recognize my weakness in prayer. i don't meet with Him. i get distracted and want to do rather than just be. i want to use this week to know him intimately. my friend, lauren, has been gracious enough to open up her home in vero beach, fl to me and a few girls. i don't like to associate feelings or experiences with how well my spiritual walk is. however, the beach is always so refreshing to me and for some reason paints a picture of God's love for me. there is such power in the ocean, yet a gentleness and calm in the waves and in the shoreline. there is a raw beauty and everything is laid bare at the beach. so, i really look forward to meeting with God while i am down there. it is fascinating to me to reflect on His faithfulness to me during my time here at auburn.

here's my charge. listen to this hymn. it has been my anthem while here at auburn. He is truly all that satisfies. go to Him when you are thirsty. so often, i do not. i go to whatever pleasure will temporarily fill my hunger. yet, i'm always only hungrier. but, He is never ending joy, never ending peace, never ending love. i know this is true, because i have hungered enough to know what satisfies and what does not. however, our longing will never be fulfilled until we see Him face to face. i can't wait for that day.

In the Secret of His Presence

"In the secret of His presence how my soul delights to hide! Oh, how precious are the lessons which I learn at Jesus’ side!

Earthly cares can never vex me, neither trials lay me low;

For when Satan comes to tempt me, to the secret place I go,

To the secret place I go.

When my soul is faint and thirsty, ’neath the shadow of His wing

There is cool and pleasant shelter, and a fresh and crystal spring;

And my Savior rests beside me, as we hold communion sweet:

If I tried, I could not utter what He says when thus we meet,

What He says when thus we meet.

Only this I know: I tell Him all my doubts, my griefs and fears;

Oh, how patiently He listens! and my drooping soul He cheers:

Do you think He ne’er reproves me? What a false Friend He would be,

If He never, never told me of the sins which He must see,

Of the sins which He must see.

Would you like to know the sweetness of the secret of the Lord?

Go and hide beneath His shadow: this shall then be your reward;

And whene’er you leave the silence of that happy meeting place,

You must mind and bear the image of the Master in your face,

Of the Master in your face."