a different kind of weekend.

this weekend was nice... it really was. i can not say i really wanted to go. last week was busy, and i had already committed to work at camp marannook for the weekend at what they call "family camp". i left immediately after class on friday and came back this afternoon around 3. funny, i did not really want to go to marannook because i wanted rest this weekend. free time to catch up on things. yet, this weekend brought so much more rest than i would have received in auburn. i worked with a precious family. they had a 3 yr. old little boy with big blue eyes and curly blonde hair... precious!! they had a 4 month old little girl. so, needless to say she was

stuck to my hip all weekend and i loved it. well... mostly. it's going to be hard to come to the day i commit to having a baby. one that is full time, never leaves my side.

i think i am having withdrawals from little marriemma. oh my goodness, she was adorable. i officially felt like a mom when i had this crazy contraption wrapped around me with marriemma tagging along on a hayride. then, this morning i had one baby on the hip, the other hand taking pictures with a canon of the rest of the family. yep, i think i know what it feels like. i had nap duty, which gave me some time to sit on the front porch of the cabin in the middle of the woods and read my bible and journal. it was not super consistent, because someone was usually crying. however, the weekend was just great to get things in perspective.

however, tonight i came back to a crazy shenanigans chase that took me all over auburn, only for me to be killed in the end. blah. great way to begin the week.

oh well. hopefully one of my allies will go far and i can help that particular person and maybe that particular person will win due to some of my inside skills. just saying.

but, these days i have many things to worry about. so while i was at marannook and was able to think and not be so distracted my "auburn stuff", i begged God that He would reveal some truth to me... which He did. let me give you some.

"Cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved." - Psalm 55:22

"Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

"For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:11-13

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." - Proverbs 19:21

"And God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father, be glory forever and ever. Amen." - Philippians 4:19

do you think God has things under control? i think so.

"But ah! Too soon the pleasing scene
Is clouded o’er with pain
My gloomy fears rise dark between
And I again complain,
Oh and I again complain

Jesus, my Lord, my life, my light
Oh come with blissful ray
Break radiant through the shades of night
And chase my fears away,
Won’t You chase my fears away"

- Thou Lovely Source of True Delight

"Be still, my soul:
thy God doth undertake
To guide the future,
as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence
let nothing shake;
All now mysterious
shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul:
the waves and winds
still know His voice
Who ruled them
while He dwelt below."

- Be Still My Soul

so, i cried myself to sleep and woke up in peace.

Why has God blessed me in so many ways, when every day I turn aside from Him, trying to pursue things that may fullfill my flesh? The God of this universe is a good, good God. Yesterday, I drove home from another place that seems to be just as much home to me. About two and half years ago God called me to spend a summer at Camp Marannook in LaFayette, AL. At the time I was getting settled as a freshman at Auburn University. I was getting initiated into a new sorority, Alpha Delta Pi, and making some new friendships in various places that were going to last forever... I truly trust they will. This all sounds exciting, and pretty typical for a girl raised in the south. But, this was not the easiest time, either. Auburn is a wonderful place, full of ambition and opportunity for young men and women trying to figure out what the rest of their life will look like and preparing for it. It is a warm community - literally and figuratively. But, Auburn is very much a part of the world. And God has called me out of the world. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." - Romans 12:2. He has called all of His children to be seperate from the world. My flesh wants to serve the world. So constantly there is a battle of the flesh to serve myself and the things of today, but God has set me free from that. When I serve Him with all that I am, I find rest. And that's how He provided me with great rest. He sent me to Camp Marannook.

I can't begin to tell you the blessings that I have received from that place. Summer 2008 I worked as a counselor. I worked with 13 other college students who were seeking God intensely, and we spent over 100 hours in the Word of God. Needless to say, I fell deeply in love with God and His Word. It is rich. It is alive. Read His Word... dig deep into it. He wants to radically change your life through it. I also fell deeply in love with everyone that worked at that camp, the training staff, kitchen staff, and maintenance staff. And I found a deep love for Mr. Charles and Mrs. Barbara, our "summer parents" and founders of Camp Marannook. Not to mention, I got to spend 5 weeks with precious children, sharing the Gospel and learning how to deny self, and serve whether I am exhausted or not. It was quite a stretching summer but one that was full of joy and peace.



I went back to Auburn and am not going to deny the fact that I faced some of the same demons that have haunted me for so long... but this is the thing, God's grace never stops fullfilling every need. Every fear, every weakness, and every failing. He still remains and His grace becomes greater and greater in my life. His grace looks richer and richer every day... and I don't even come close to seeing and experiencing how mighty and huge His grace is. He woos me in the midst of my trials. He walks through the valleys with me and then every day I fall even more in love with Him. "I, the LORD, will answer them Myself, As the God of Israel I will not forsake them. I will open rivers on the bare heights And springs in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water And the dry land fountains of water." - Isaiah 41:17b-18

After a year of challenges, questions about my future, valleys and mountaintops, I wanted to go to Atlanta, get a job, and try to figure out my future on my own. God didn't see the same thing I did. He said, Kate, I am in control. I need to work on some things in your life. He said, you're going back to Marannook. After a weekend in March of complete brokenness because God revealed everything that I was holding on to sustain me, and it all came crashing in because I no longer had it. Richard Vise, Auburn's RUF minister, said once said... If we serve any god other than the one true God, when we fail it, it will crush is. This is true. If I serve how well I do at school, then make a bad grade, I will be crushed. But if we fail God, He still remains and we are not crushed, we are lifted up off the ground because His Son Jesus was crushed for us. He took on the curse. Well, I was on my way back to Marannook. This time I would be the program director's assistant. I would be working with one of the guys from my training staff. Neither one of us knew quite what we were taking on. It's a lot of responsibility to run a camp... and the program director plays a huge part in that. Much of my weakness was exposed, but through that I experienced the power of God and there is much confidence in Him... not myself.
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 2:9-10. Well, I got to fall in love with a new training staff! God truly fullfilled every need of encouragement, of community, of the feeling of being needed. The thing is... by God's amazing grace He chose me to be used this summer, and what a blessing that is. I love Him so much. And I love everyone of the people at Marannook. I love waking up to drink coffee on Manna Deck in the middle of the woods, reading my bible with an occassional kitchen girl coming to greet me. I love the deeps laughs of each person. I love the uniqueness of each individual and yet everyone fits so perfectly, there's no way God's glory can not be shown. I love listening to Mr. Charles rap and Matthew dancing to the most ridiculous songs. I love seeing lizards everywhere I turn. I love such intense hugs from the training staff girls. I love the excited children!! They are so joyful and see life so simply. I love God's beauty displayed in the trees, the flowers, the lake, and the sky. I love reading time and singing hymns around the piano. I love it all. But mostly I love the fact that the only way I get to experience any of it and the only way any of it runs is by the deep, unfathomable love of God. It baffles me how He could care for His children so intensely. So last night as I made my way home, I looked forward to seeing my family, but with a bit of heaviness in my heart. I greeted my family in Scottsboro, AL and set everything down. I loved to see their faces. But as I got into bed, it hit me that I would not wake up to those things that I had become so in love with, and I began to cry. I began to ache for my sweet home, Marannook. My mom comforted me and I fell into deep sleep. But this morning I woke up in peace. I woke up saying, OK God, here we go. This is the next step. This is the next corner of my life. I don't expect it to be easy... but I have faith You will stay. I have faith You will never leave and I can't wait to see You and to live for You.

http://www.marannook.org/

For the joy of human love,

Brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth and friends above,

For all gentle thoughts and mild.

Lord of all to Thee we raise This our hymn of grateful praise.

On Jordan’s stormy banks I stand,

And cast a wishful eye

To Canaan’s fair and happy land,

Where my possessions lie.

I am bound for promised land